Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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