Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
