Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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