She's JV to your varsity
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
