You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
