just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
