I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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