whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
