you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
