Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
All the doctor said was why
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
