I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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