is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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