If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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