Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
