um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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