Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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