Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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