sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize