I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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