Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize