She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
