Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
