If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
