you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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