im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
