I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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