I think my vagina is haunted
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
