just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.