i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize