just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
