Duck Duck Cougar?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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