A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"