Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.

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(661): Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though. http://tfl.nu/ww5c

Replies (9) Good night (907) Bad night (919)
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(408): View more from California

Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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(408): Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand http://tfl.nu/h440

Replies (31) Good night (4903) Bad night (667)
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(303): View more from Colorado

marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex

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(303): marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex http://tfl.nu/fie1

Replies (46) Good night (4538) Bad night (916)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.

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(205): Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent. http://tfl.nu/5qhy

Replies (25) Good night (659) Bad night (7374)
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(713): View more from Texas

He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance

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(713): He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance http://tfl.nu/pus5

Replies (11) Good night (823) Bad night (3148)
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(515): View more from Iowa

In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

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(515): In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much. http://tfl.nu/n8ik

Replies (7) Good night (1896) Bad night (991)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...

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(217): I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting... http://tfl.nu/eihm

Replies (11) Good night (2524) Bad night (884)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.

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(859): When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/xa7u

Replies (31) Good night (837) Bad night (7348)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop

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(908): Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop http://tfl.nu/suxm

Replies (12) Good night (2059) Bad night (845)
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(404): View more from Georgia

my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.

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(404): my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class. http://tfl.nu/g08a

Replies (24) Good night (2032) Bad night (598)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today

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(423): can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today http://tfl.nu/jv97

Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (516)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.

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(647): I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing. http://tfl.nu/o75l

Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (846)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.

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(908): Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother. http://tfl.nu/ysht

Replies (1) Good night (734) Bad night (315)
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(518): View more from New York

We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo

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(518): We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo http://tfl.nu/l3yn

Replies (3) Good night (304) Bad night (718)
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(315): View more from New York

well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people

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(315): well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people http://tfl.nu/1v0e

Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (529)

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