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I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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