He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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