dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
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ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.