i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I party with great urgency now.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
