Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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