I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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