Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
