okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
