why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
