Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
