I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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