how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
