So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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