seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
