I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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