You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I love having hate sex.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
