you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
