Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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