I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm sobbing to NWA
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
