I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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