tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
