well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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