well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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