I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
