Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize