People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
