I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
