So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
