I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
