Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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