Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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